Wednesday October 24 Challengers: Where are you?

[Gaelen]

I KNOW several of you are up and at the computer loooong before I'm done with spam patrol in the background.

So how are you planning to say 'yes' to today, stay focused on your goals, and be true to yourself?

Good Wednesdays, everyone...oh, and in last week's new 'tradition' -- who's got a laugh to share? :p

[maxlharris]

Many a false step was made by standing still.

... in bed!

There, that's funny, and profound.

I have maintained the streak this far. That's good. But the last 4.5 days have been great. Reenergized, reinvigorated and hopeful for the future. The only misstep at this moment is not moving forward, so, today is onward and upward.

Rock on.

[hawk]

Good morning!!! I am off to the doc office today.

This is for all the Italians out there, and those who are lucky
enough to be married to an Italian, and even to all the friends of Italians.......

An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the
agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands he crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he leaned against the doorframe, gazing into the kitchen. Were if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. For there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite anisette sprinkled cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Italian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth,seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his
wife.............................................. ....

"Get out of here!" she shouted, "They're for the funeral."

[hawk]

I hope that makes you laugh!

I have my protien lunch packed. Ate meat loaf for breakfast ..am drinking the elixer of life..(coffee) and getting off to the post office to mail a princess costume before work.

[Missy]

LOL .....good one Hawk!

Max....I, Missy, must be your pseudo sugar girl! :D;):D I take FULL credit! :D:evil:

[Ottawa]

Great one Hawk!

Did you know ...
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and other fatty foods and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

[Shadow]

Lynn - That was great :D! And so like the Italian wives I've known :lol:!

Max - Funny and profound indeed :eek: ;).

Randy - :lol:! Good thing I garble the language or I'd be dead by now :tongue:!

Today I'm saying yes by being right on track with everything and my meals planned for the rest of the day :nod:.

[Rhyme'n Reason]

I see we're back to funny Wednesdays! These are great!!

Today is a typical PP day--breakfast shake and some sausage, 24 oz. water; lunch is packed; I plan a shake after school and something (perhaps cheddarwurst and some cottage cheese) when I get home from work tonight.

The "untypical" part of my day is only having to teach two classes and conduct a choir rehearsal. Two other classes are out on field trips and the seniors are visiting a college for the rest of the week. This is a great day to tackle some leftover items that keep getting put off.

Have a great day, everyone!

[gitfiddle]

Good morning, all you funny people! Hawk, that one is one of my favorites. Nobody ever sees the punch line coming!

Everything is humming along and seemingly in control. I just got one joker card dealt to me in the form of a data report that has been hanging over my head since summer. Well, it's due now and I'm not ready. I'll be starting it as soon as I'm done here and I hope I've got all the data I need!

I had sauteed pork and green peppers seasoned with garlic for breakfast. That a rough way to start the day! I followed with a piece of sf peppermint gum. Huge salad for lunch, so I'm good to go.

[Anniesnan]

Hawk - that was very cute!

Max - one of my fav people always adds "in bed" to everyone's fortunes - always good for a laugh!

Randy - I have to remember that one. That made me laugh out loud:D.


Well, I've decluttered my bag, filled the recycling bin with paper, made a great start really cleaning my desk off - cleaned the inside out yesterday.
DD is feeling much better.

I am centered and so is my mind:D.
Today I a YES day - all the way. I think I might even pick up my crocheting again tonight;)

[oceanblueLA]

Hi everyone!

Great joke Hawk!

Looking forward to a successful day. I am heading up to work out with weights, then get in a full day at my desk. My meals aren't quite planned but they will be squeaky PP clean.

Hope you all have a great day!

Blue

[Dharmalisa]

MY LIVING WILL
The other night, my friend and I were sitting in her living room, and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.

[Ammy]

VERY funny jokes today!
Thanks!!

[Missy]

Dharmalisa! ROFLMAO!!!!! LOL :D

[Gaelen]

Okay, here's mine...
I had a hard time finding the right birthday card for my sister. She just turned 50 and has been complaining about gravity taking its toll. Then I found this one...

On the front is a picture of an aging woman holding up a bra at a sales counter.
Inside, she was saying to the saleswoman, "Can I get this in a 42 long?"

[gitfiddle]

Some of you should really be working for greeting card companies.

Sunday was Mom's 84th birthday. My sister got her this one: Two aged ladies and one was complaining, "My arthritis is killing me, I can hardly move! My eyes have cataracts and I can't see a thing! My hearing aids don't work, either. Inside: Thank God I can still drive!

Randy, I'm going to use yours tonight! :nod:

[Feelix]

You all are way to funny!

I only have a couple jokes and they are weak at best... This is my gift to you... you may throw it out or regift... your choice.
************************************************** ***
There are too sausages in a hot frying pan. One sausage turns to the other and says "WOW, it sure is hot in here!" The other sausage turns and screams "Oh My God! A talking sausage!"
************************************************** ***
Why did God make your butt crack vertical instead of horizontal?

So when you go down a slide, they wouldn't go "brrrrrrrrr" (best dramatized by buzzing lips and running index finger up and down them)
************************************************** ***
knock knock

who's there?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub, I'm Dwowning
************************************************** **

I'm out folks... that's the only 3 jokes that live in a special part of my memory... no more, no less..... Sad isn't it?

As for my day - I am suppose to be studying but some how I found the energy to deep clean my bathroom, make dinner, organize my husbands underwear drawer and drink a couple cups of coffee and water... I guess I should have more deadlines more often... I get WAY more done!

[Ottawa]

These are incredible! http://www.todojuegos.com/modules/Forums/images/smiles/gathering.gif


Today has been a much better day at work. On track and dinner will be a large Chipotle Chicken Salad. It has an immediate heat that is somehow mellower than straight Chili Peppers.

Total: 2073 IF 18/6
Fat: 148
Carbs: 27 - 9 = 18 ECC
Fiber: 9
Protein: 168

[gitfiddle]

Not feeling well tonight and didn't exercise at all. Food was good, but I think I'll take a NO.

Randy, I shared your stastical joke with DH, which was all the more effective because he listened politely thinking I was subjecting him to yet another piece of found wisdom. It took a minute to sink in. ;)

[Anniesnan]

I kept my eating a yes, but didn't get in any exercise - other than mental.

Discovered I fell way down on my sudoku ranking by not playing for 4 days:eek:. Have a lot of ground to make up;)

[Shadow]

Discovered I fell way down on my sudoku ranking by not playing for 4 days:eek:. Have a lot of ground to make up;)
How depressing, huh :lol:? Nothing like a good excuse to get back online and play some more :D!

Today was a 'yes' :).