As if fast food itself weren’t creepy enough, it seems that the makers of such go out of their way to come up with the weirdest mascots imaginable to promote their food. Fanpop recently did a Top Ten of the creepiest fast food mascots. I disagree with their choice of the rodentoid creature as mascot for Quiznos Subs as being only #10. I would have put it at numero uno.
I can’t imagine the thought processes of whomever came up with this and of whomever approved it. One can’t help but get a subliminal image of these nasty rodents (MD thinks they look like a cross between a rodent and a body louse–a yummy prospect, indeed.) actually being in the Quiznos Subs facilities, if not in the subs themselves. Absolutely creepy. I hate it because Quiznos has a pretty good low-carb selection; MD and I eat there often when were traveling and want something quick. Seeing this ad has given me second thoughts. If the people in charge are stupid enough to approve such a thing, what other stupid things are they doing to the food?
Speaking of great ads for fast food places, below is my all time favorite. It’s a Hardee’s ad that I don’t believe ever made it to prime time. If it did, I didn’t see it. It’s in kind of poor taste, but, hey, so are fast food places, so it’s perfect.


  1. Since you like the Quiznos ad so much, I thought you might like to see more by the same creator.
    Try the song “We like the moon”–I doubt you can stand to listen to it all the way through.
    Hi Amelia–
    I hit the link, listened to the song in its entirety, and found it unimaginable dreadful.  If this is what the youth of America is all about, then I am truly becoming an old fud I fear.

  2. It was some internet’s phenomenon a couple of years ago; something that I didn’t know about until much later (while researching why Quiznos had such a really stupid ad campaign). I have never and intend to never eat at Quiznos because of that ad campaign. Link with more info.
    Hi Chris–
    Thanks for the link.  Thanks to you and other readers, I’m learning much more about the Spongemonkeys than I ever wanted to. 

  3. I had a half-formed memory that the creepy rat thing was actually Quiznos trying to play up on an internet fad, and after a brief search I found it. The original rodent.
    Hi Elizabeth–
    Yeah, Quiznos tried to ride the wave alright, but I guess they got swamped.  Looks like they jerked the thing fairly quickly.  One wonders who with good sense would have approved it in the first place.

  4. Dr. Eades, I watched that ad and simply could not believe that it was legitimate. It looked much too amateurish. So like a good little geek, I googled it. Turns out that Quiznos is having a $10,000 contest where they are challenging ordinary people to submit tv ads.
    I bet you anything that this is simply one of the many many entries.
    The winner will be announced tomorrow.
    Hi Angelyne–
    Nope, it was a legitimate (if that word can be used to describe this ad) ad that ran in 2004. See Chris’s comment for the link to the history.

  5. Thanks for the link–I enjoyed the article. I’d put Grimace at the top of the list–what the hell is that thing?
    We used to have lots of drinking glasses from McD’s when I was a kid. Most of them had Grimace on them. Gave me nightmares.
    Hi Paul–
    It’s easy to see why McDonald’s would want to distance themselves from the roly poly Grimace today, what with all the real and threatened lawsuits against them for promoting obesity.

  6. Oh yes, that ad was real. It got a lot of play here in Denver before it was pulled. The first time hubby and I saw it we were sitting there with a “what the heck was that?” expression on our faces. I remember the newspaper even had a write up about the ad mainly because Quiznos is headquartered here. But I have to admit, I’d almost rather see those horrible creatures than another Subway ad featuring Jared Fogel who really does creep me out.
    My vote for the most creepy? Hands down, it’s the Burger King. Good gravy, who’d want to have that guy peering through your window?
    Hi Esther–
    How about Jared Fogel peering through your window…
    I’ve got a post in me about how Subway used Jared so brilliantly to sell a ton of their products.

  7. I used to think Quiznos had pretty good food, and even decent low carb items – Finally, a place where I could buy a salad that had fresh greens, a reasonable amount of meat, what looked for all intents and purposes like real, honest to goodness cheese, and dressing that didn’t taste like it was infused with about 50% sugar.
    …As I said, that’s what I used to think.
    Unfortunately, the last 2 or 3 times I’ve tried to eat at Quiznos, the salad has become progressively worse.
    First, they try to push their flatbread salad on me, even though I specifically request the Roman Craveable Salad (which is essentially nothing more than a chicken Caesar salad). So I have to explain to them repeatedly that the flatbread salad is not what I want, and not what I asked for, leaving me wondering why they even bother to keep the Roman salad on the menu if no one seems to know what it is any more.
    Apparently as a result of the fact that no one seems to know what the Roman salad is any more, they’re usually out of the blend of greens that they normally use for the Roman salad. I can live with that, even if it’s annoying.
    The last time I was there though, not only did I have to go through this rigamarole of practically telling them exactly what was on the Roman Salad and telling them how to make it, they didn’t even have any of the peppercorn caesar dressing! So I settled for their italian dressing instead, hoping it wouldn’t taste like a bowl of sugar. It did, unfortunately. Luckily, I’d decided to taste it before pouring it all over my salad.
    The piece de resistance was when I started to eat the salad – The greens were absolutely inedible, they were so old, brown and limp.
    I was so disgusted with my “meal” by that point that if I hadn’t already been extremely foggy headed from low blood sugar (I’d been driving for hours), I’d have taken it back to the brain trust at the counter and demanded that they give me my money back. Besides, in the small town where I stopped, there really wasn’t any other choice of a place to get any kind of meal that I felt would be a bit better.
    Instead, I ate the chicken and tossed the rest of it in the trash, planning to never darken their doors again.
    Side note: I strongly suspect that their flatbreads are no longer low carb – they look very different from what they used to use, and they don’t promote their flatbread salads as being low carb, and don’t even have the flatbread wraps on the menu any more.
    Hi Calianna–
    Thanks for the heads up.  We haven’t been in a Quiznos for at least six months, but next time we do, I’ll be on alert.

  8. LOL great topic.
    Personally I think the Jack in the Box big white head is creepy yet funny. I liked the one where his kid gives a report about being vegetarian.
    Hi Connie–
    I’ve never seen the one about the vegetarian kid.  Sounds bizarre.

  9. I kinda’ liked the ads. I have always been a fan of odd-vertising. I take them as a stand alone art form and never connected the ad to the food (or company for that matter).
    And speaking of ads… Taco Bell is now using the “fourth meal” idea to promote their open until midnight or later. Just what America needs, FOUR unhealthFUL meals a day!
    Hi David–
    I just saw that ‘fourth-meal’ ad a couple of days ago during a football game.  I couldn’t believe it.  Not only are they encouraging us to eat more, they are encouraging us to eat more often.

  10. Looks like that toe-nail fungus thing from the Lamisil commercial escaped and and got into Quiznos food.
    Brilliant!  I wondered where that thing came from. 

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